Daddy's Desk - May, 2008 "Aidan"

My wife Laurie and I like to amaze the kids with tales from the good old days. We tell them about .89 cent gasoline and telephone booths. We tell them we used to take pictures with cameras that captured images on “film”, and then we’d wait weeks later to see how the pictures turned out. We tell them about the days before email and the internet, and how our version of “texting” included a pen, a piece of paper, and a postage stamp. Laurie and I actually used to hand-write letters to each other to keep our long-distance relationship going. Their jaws drop open at the thought of such primitive, archaic communication. So when I see my 3 year old Christopher navigating his way around our computer, using a mouse as easily as he uses his own hand, I can’t help but be amazed.

I think it’s human nature to resist change. We get comfortable with the way things are, so we don’t see a need for change. Whether it’s news of a favorite priest moving on to a new assignment, or news of a beloved preschool director relocating their family, we never seem to embrace change. But I think our kids can actually help us in this regard.

As the school year winds down, it’s easy to look back and see how much the kids have changed. Christopher, for example, has moved through many different phases this year…thankfully the “Titanic” phase is now a distant memory. His latest is being called the “Aidan” phase. Neither of our other boys ever felt the need to create an imaginary friend, but for some reason, Christopher has given us a mysterious 4th son named “Aidan”. He’s only about two inches tall, blue eyes and blonde hair, but let me tell you this kid is nothing but trouble. If there’s a drink spill on the living room carpet, odds are pretty good it was Aidan who caused it. If Christopher is refusing to do something we’re asking him to do, it’s likely Aidan is whispering defiant words in his ear. If Alex or Adam are complaining about being hit by someone in the back seat of the car, it seems to always be Aidan doing the hitting (though I question how hard a two-inch tall kid can hit?). And Aidan is so portable (he fits in the palm of Christopher’s hand!), he seems to show up everywhere…long trips in the car, in church, at the playground. Even when we think we’ve left him at home, Aidan always seems to track us down. And, most annoyingly, Aidan is constantly bringing toys into Christopher’s bed at night. Many of Christopher’s phases have been cute, even in an obnoxious way, and we’ve all become attached to Aidan in some small way, but the “Aidan” phase is one phase we can’t wait to disappear. And I’m sure it will soon. I hope it will soon!

Next Fall, when the kids return to school, they’ll all be doing completely new things. Our oldest son, Alex, will be moving on to Middle School. Laurie and I recently attended the Middle School orientation, and the way they prepped us you would’ve thought we were sending our child to the battlefield. They tried to ease our minds by telling us the 6th graders would be completely isolated from the 7th and 8th graders at all times, as if those 7th and 8th graders were caged, wild animals or something. I assured Laurie Middle School today is no different than Middle School in the (gulp!) early 80’s. In fact, the more things change, the more they seem to stay the same. I can remember vividly my 6th Grade Middle School teacher scaring us about the effects of global warming and America’s over-dependence on foreign oil. Who knew that would still be a topic of discussion 30 years later? Alex will do just fine in Middle School. And Christopher, like all the other preschoolers, will return to preschool next year with dozens of new adventures under his belt.
So exactly how can our kids help us adults cope with change? Maybe not so much in how they change, but perhaps more in the way they handle change. Earlier this year I wrote about Christopher’s “diaper” bag dependence. While it no longer carried “diapers”, it carried an endless supply of his favorite toys and books. Laurie recently made a change and stopped carting that bag everywhere she goes. She felt it was time for Christopher to learn to live without all of his favorite playthings at his constant disposal. This was a major change to Christopher’s way of life. And guess what? Christopher has accepted the change and moved on.
Now Aidan, on the other hand, is not a happy camper!