It’s looking like Christopher is going to make it through Preschool. Barring a complete meltdown on his final exams and report cards, he’ll soon be on his way to Kindergarten. It’s been an incredible 3-year journey. When Laurie and I think back to the beginning, we remember the little two-year old who couldn’t talk, couldn’t count, couldn’t color, couldn’t go to the bathroom outside his own pants, and couldn’t speak a lick of Spanish. We remember the irrational temper tantrums, the illogical Titanic obsession, and the irrepressible controlling nature to his personality. Now, after making considerable progress on all of those fronts, Christopher is poised for the next phase of his life. But the real question is, are his parents ready?
One thing I’ve noticed about parenting, and I’m not sure if all parents experience this, but I never feel fully comfortable that I’ve done all that I could for my kids. Part of the problem is I’ve surrounded myself with friends and family who really seem to know what they’re doing when it comes to raising kids, and this in turn makes me feel like I still just don’t have a clue. They have kids who go to bed on time, kids who play musical instruments, kids who are always well-mannered, well-rounded, good in school, good in sports, good at everything. They spend their weekends doing cool, creative things like Friday Family Game Night or Saturday Morning Family Hiking. It seems I’m constantly being reminded of things I meant to do with my kids or things I wish I had long ago taught them.
At last month’s preschool trike-athon, I was reminded of yet another of my botched parental assignments. Christopher was so excited to get out and do some laps, and I was just as excited to watch him, but one slight problem quickly emerged…he really didn’t know how to ride his bike. Some dad I am…I basically sent him into battle without basic training. This year he upgraded from his tri-cycle to a two-wheeler with training wheels, but we really didn’t spend much time practicing, other than a couple laps in the garage. He got out there and caused so many mini-wrecks and traffic jams I was afraid they were going to black flag him for reckless driving. In a moment of panic, I quickly called my State Farm agent and increased my liability coverage. Christopher didn’t like the 0.5% downhill grade in the parking lot, he didn’t like turning in the corners, and he didn’t like dealing with Atlanta traffic. He dragged his feet instead of using his brakes, and he didn’t put much effort into peddling uphill. Traffic piled up on both sides of him and behind him. He was like a magnet for all the other bikes, one slow moving blob of bikes. I really thought I was going to witness a road rage episode at one point. Meanwhile he was being lapped by kids half his size zipping around on bikes without training wheels. Where had I failed? My oldest son Alex is on the verge of earning his Merit Badge for Bicycling in Boy Scouts, having biked nearly 150 miles in recent months. How could there be such a discrepancy?
Parental guilt is nothing new. Like the trike-athon itself, there really isn’t a Finish Line in parenting, you just kind of go around and around in circles and hope to avoid the wrecks. And because there’s no finish line, you never fully escape the feeling that there’s always more to do with your kids...more work, more play, more teaching. And there’s never enough time. This summer I’m going to work with Christopher on his biking skills, and who knows, someday he may be the next Lance Armstrong. Or who knows, given his recent fascination with space travel, he may be the next Neil Armstrong. That’s the great thing about kids…they’re full of so much promise. In the end, it’s the parent’s job to foster all that potential until the kids get old enough to figure it out themselves. And I can proudly tell you, despite all my grumblings these last three years, my kids are loaded with strengths. Someone once advised me, “Work on their Weaknesses, but Focus on their Strengths”. And just maybe, later in life, they’ll return the favor.
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