Views From the Pews - No. 2 "Length of Mass"

If you’re a northern Catholic transplant like me, you may have noticed that Prince of Peace masses run a little longer than you’re probably used to. I have done extensive research to discover where those extra minutes come from. I’m from Buffalo, New York myself…a Polish-Catholic haven, and unofficial home of the “45 Minute Mass”. In Buffalo they believe in the “get ‘em in, and get ‘em out” school of thought. Much of this is rooted in the fact that, for most of the year, a large percentage of Buffalo’s population goes to church wearing Buffalo Bills articles of clothing…sweatshirts, ski caps, scarves, and winter coats. These articles of clothing serve two functions…one is to stay warm during the frigid winter months of August through June; and the other, more importantly, is to subtly remind their priests of the need for speed during mass, in order for the congregation to make it to the stadium or their TV sets in time for kickoff. To expedite mass, priests have been known to offer up 2-minute homilies that segue immediately into the creed…with no dramatic pause for reflection. On big game days, this can knock off up to 10 minutes of mass time.

Another shortcut can be found in the songs. One or two verses are sung at most. It’s not uncommon for the organ player to announce, “Hymn number 228, verses 1 and 3 only”. They actually skip verses. At one minute per song, this saves 3-5 minutes easily.

Communion in Buffalo is a streamlined process of maximum efficiency. Granted, churches in Buffalo do not deal with the same volume of people that Prince of Peace deals with, but nonetheless Buffalo churches can knock out communion wafer distribution with incredible speed. They really have it down to a science. Much of this can be attributed to the ushers. Buffalo church ushers are a unique lot. Being an usher in Buffalo is equivalent to being a member of the mafia. It takes years and years to get in, and the only way out is death. They huddle in the back of church in their matching dark blue blazers and completely control the ebb and flow of every mass. They collect the offerings with stealth-like precision. Baskets are not passed from hand to hand…too many hands slow down the process. Instead, ushers stalk from pew to pew with one basket on a long stick. It looks kind of like lacrosse, but instead of scooping a ball around they’re scooping cash. There’s nothing that can make you reach for your wallet quicker than a menacing blue blazer usher sticking a basket under your nose. Intimidating ushers can reduce the length of mass by 5-7 minutes easily, and probably produce larger offerings to boot.

So there you have it…that extra 15-20 minutes. And that’s not even considering baptisms, which typically are not a public ceremony in Buffalo.

The bottom line…that extra 15-20 minutes we spend each week at Prince of Peace is time well spent. The extra verses of every song, the warm and friendly church ushers, and the inspiring homilies are worth the extra 15-20 minutes. Prince of Peace is truly blessed to have such gifted orators who skillfully draw us in each week with their well-crafted words. And they don’t just stand at a pulpit and preach to us, they actually walk around amongst us and speak to us. A really good homily can make your week.

So the next time you’re at POP and you notice someone checking their watch halfway through mass, try not to get too annoyed with them. It’s probably a relative of mine visiting from Buffalo. Just pat them on the shoulder and say, “Go Bills”.
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